What Have I Learned So Far?

I’ve learned a lot about myself in the past few years (thank God), and I haven’t even scratched the surface!  I pray I am always like a sponge, humble, challenging my own beliefs, and looking at things from new perspectives.  
I’ve learned that while I DEFINITELY need to refuel and spend time alone after larger social events (some may classify me as an introvert), I am 100% unequivocally a “people person”.   I don’t enjoy experiencing things by myself as much as I enjoy experiencing them with someone else.  In fact, I might not even choose to go explore a new activity or a new city if there’s no one with me because it’s just not all that fun by myself.  Maybe one day it will be.🤷‍♀️ That seeming contradiction used to confuse me, but as I’ve stopped judging and started accepting, it doesn’t seem confusing at all anymore.  I need fellowship and community, and I also need solitude.  It’s not one or the other.

I am absolutely fascinated by human behavior, my own behavior included.  I always want to know why…on the deepest level possible.  Sometimes I worry all my questions make me seem judgmental, which couldn’t be further from the truth — I am just curious by nature about what makes people tick…What drives their fears and their sense of freedom.  What do they REALLY want?  Where is the conflict and what’s beneath it? And then what’s beneath THAT?  Peel another layer.  Ask more questions.  What are the patterns?  Where is the possible solution?  I am a problem solver.  Sometimes we haven’t thought to look deep enough to see the real problem because it’s masquerading as other things.  

I’ve learned that I have to be extremely intentional not to fall into old patterns like perfectionism, impatience, reactivity, catastrophization, “right”/“wrong” thinking, inflexibility, defensiveness, self-loathing, and people-pleasing at the expense of my own integrity. I’ve learned that boundaries are tricky: setting and sticking to them without being inflexible or getting into a “right/wrong” mindset takes time and practice (I may never master this completely) and they are also absolutely imperative to mental, physical, and spiritual health.

I’ve learned that expectations of myself and others are the root of all my frustrations, so whenever I feel frustrated I have to check my expectations, and then turn to acceptance and gratitude.  And this is on repeat – It’s not perfected.  I relearn it nearly every day or at least weekly.  But the time in between frustration and acceptance is shorter and shorter…almost instantaneous now
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I’ve also made huge strides in gaining self-worth and confidence from God and from within myself rather than outside circumstances.  Perhaps I’ll never fully get there; I am admittedly driven at my deepest core by a need to help others.  It fills my cup.  It makes me feel good about myself.  Which would be all fine and good except 

I don’t need (or frankly feel comfortable with) public recognition for things I do, but if I don’t feel like I’m being of service, making a big enough difference, having a big enough impact, I can spiral into self-limiting beliefs, low mood/vibration, and spiritual sickness rather quickly.  So, it is selfishly that I ask you: “What can I do to serve you?”  

I feel I am best equipped to help in the arenas of health and wellness because that’s my greatest passion, but that’s not a requirement to feel filled up.  If you need prayer, a cup of coffee, help moving boxes, someone to vent to, or really anything at all (Unless it requires more than a screwdriver as I am not very handy🤪), please reach out.  My health and well-being depend on it.